HeroHeroine

It's too late baby, there's no turning around
I got my hands to my pocket & my head in a cloud
This is how I do, when I think about you
I never thought that you could break me apart
I keep a sinister smile & a hold on my heart
You wanna get inside, then you can get in line
But not this time, cause you caught me off guard
Now I'm running & screaming

I feel like a hero, & you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin
And I feel the weakness coming on
It never felt so good to be so wrong
Have my heart on lock down, then you turn me around
And I'm feeling like a newborn child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
It's not complicated, I was so jaded
And you caught me off guard
Now I'm running & screaming
--
I used to love BLG to an indescribable extent but I feel like they're music is overplayed. After their songs started getting played on KiisFM, I was just like, bump this. But regardless, this is still one of my favorite songs by them. I randomly stumbled across it while my iTunes was on shuffle & it made me realize that I feel kinda sorta the same. Don't you love it when your life is like the lyrics to a song? Not me. Haha.

I'm moving on, & opening my eyes to new options. If you have recommendations, please feel free to fill me in. Anyway, a fellow friend, whom I just met through another fellow friend has been sending me lots of good songs & I am so far liking every single one. On the other hand, though, I love Owl City. Their music sounds fresh & just..clean. & Also, the remake of Kiss Me, originally by Sixpence None the Richer, is really good. The remake is by New Found Glory & it adds a little 'umph' to the song, to say the least. Oh, what my life would be like without the beauty of music.

Winter break has officially started & I cannot say enough how happy I am. I'm really excited but nostalgic at the same time because first semester is slowly coming to an end. Which means...second semester is just around the corner. & You know what that means; Senior year is about to start forreal. I always looked forward to all the senior events that upperclassmen told me about when I was just a teeny freshman. But now that I'm actually at the verge of getting closer to graduating, I'm reminiscing like crazy on the past 3 years of high school.

Yesterday in leadership, we went around & talked about what our dream college was & seems like a lot of people have big dreams. Many talked about UCLA, some talked about UCSD, there were some Standford, & there was ivy leagues. It made me feel like I'm not giving myself much of a accomplishment I want to reach. I think I lost all hope after junior year. It sounds bad, but going to the "brand name" colleges, as Mai put it, doesn't mean you'll be successful. You'll have a better chance, maybe, but you have other options. & That's how I'm looking at it from now on.

Anyway, when it was the freshmen's turn to talk, I can't even explain how badly I wished I was a freshman again. If I had the chance to, I would re-do high school all over again. I would have the right mindset to get me somewhere in big in my life & I would do everything the right way. But then again, without the mistakes I've made in my high school life, who would I be now? Just some other stereotypical Asian that wants to make it to the typical Asian dream school? No, I'm an individual & I'll do whatever the hell I want to do with my life & just pray that whatever it may be, that God will lead me through the right paths. I may not want to have the same dreams of the ones that will be doctors, lawyers, etc., but "success if my only motherfucking option, failure's not."

I think since senior year has started, I've lost respect for a lot of people. There are so many fakes & unwelcoming people in this world but I'm not one to judge because I'm sure I give that impression to other people as well. But then again, it's different when it comes from someone you thought was your friend, you know? I think there's times when you just feel totally neglected by a person & then all of a sudden they want to give you all this attention. It doesn't make sense to me why people lie & why people are dishonest, especially when I give them the opportunity to tell me the truth. It hurts me more when I give you the chance to be honest & you lie to my face. That's just telling me, "You're stupid. You'll never find out that I'm lying to you." & Then when I DO find out, you say you're sorry. You're not sorry you did it, you're just sorry I found out.

That's it for today.
Toodles, xoxo.