Girls On the Dance Floor.

I've been listening to FM (Far East Movement) for the past couple of days and I can't help but say they're music is fresh. Thanks to my "sensitive" buddy for the suggestions, you know who you are! Anyway, today's my last night in Korea and yet again, I have this bittersweet feeling all up in my body. Although I don't live out there in the city, where people seem to have so much fun, I'm going to miss the country side. I'm going to miss my puppy, the cutest puppy in my eyes. I'm going to miss eating 'OG' Korean food. I'm going to miss it all. But most of all, I'm going to miss my annoying brats, a.k.a. my parents. It's always heartbreaking to see my mom with that sad look on her face as she sends me off to the terminal. I put a smile on just so she knows I'll be seeing her again real soon but once I'm alone, tears just drop automatically. It sounds weird from someone who's been wanting to go back home since the day I've stepped foot on this land but I can't help it. Parents will be parents.

As school is just around the corner, I'm having seconds thoughts about having AP Environmental Science. I think I can do it but I don't know if I want to. I'm most definitely excited for senior year and I can't wait for all the stuff it has in store but can I have all the fun I want with that class AND AP Calc? I have some serious thinking to do. But while on the topic, I need to get on the summer assignment, pronto.

I'm excited for volleyball season. I'm excited for ASB. I'm excited for meeting new people. I'm excited for events. I'm excited for SENIOR YEAR.

Fairfax LUAU is Friday, September 11th! 7$ pre-sale and 10$ at the door. Come out and have fun!

Anyway, my mom promised me a DSLR for Christmas, which isn't that far away. So all I can do is trust her word and wait a few months. MEH. That's it for tonight. My next blog will be when I'm back in the states! Good luck to all those who start school on tomorrow/Monday.

Let the Good Times Roll.

I have arrived to Korea safely. It's ridiculously hot and humid in this country, which I do not like at all. But other than that, my first day has been interesting and I got to meet one of my new baby cousins. He is just so adorable! I'm glad that I'm a heavy sleeper, otherwise, I would have major jetlag and that would suck big time.

I love how in the end of it all, everything turned out to how I predicted it to turn out. But what I love the most is that I don't give a shit, yeeboyeee.

I wonder how one can waste so much time on another and encounter so much drama and controversy but that one can still accept the other like there was never anything wrong. I'm way too high cla$$ for that shit. hehe.

Tomorrow, I'm going to trim my ridiculously full head of hair. Then I'm going to go to the optometrist and possibly get a new pair of fresh glasses. And finally, I'm hoping my momma will let me get a mani and pedi. So far, my trip is going well. I'm going to make the best of the next 2 weeks.

'Night!

We Run LA.

I'm so sad I missed retreat. I hope everyone that went had a good time and most importantly, got blessed. :) I wish I was there to experience it with you guys.

I cannot wait 'till I leave. I know I said I'm going to miss LA, but honestly, now that I think about it, I don't think I'm going to miss much. What is there to miss right? Besides my bitch Frank, ha. Kickback after I get back honey! ♥ I was thinking as I was walking home after work and realized that I'm going to enjoy my time at Korea while it lasts. 'Cause think about it, after 2 weeks, I'll be back in this shithole called hometown and I'll be going through the same shit over and over again. I'm seriously so fed up with people pulling the same shit on me all the fucking time. I cannot wait 'till tomorrow. I miss my momma & my daddy and my baby mengoo. ♥


Goodbye. :)

I Don't Care.

Hey playboy, it's about time and your time is up. I had to do this one for my girls you know? Sometimes you gotta act like you don't care, that's the only way you boys learn.
To the NUMEROUS amount of boys I have met, encountered, befriended, and have had experienced personally throughout my life and the never ending amount of boys out in the world that have yet to be found.

Anyway, I've been thinking lately. It's probably because it's the TOM right now, which makes me more emotional and thoughtful than usual. Like I've mentioned before, I think a couple of weeks away is gonna help me a lot; this year especially. With senior year coming around, I have so many things to worry about. Applications, getting good grades, transcripts, graduation, and most importantly, college itself. Man, I am so worried for college. I don't know why but I can't imagine myself there in the environment. Also the fact that I haven't done my best during my high school years. I hope overall, though, I'll be alright. I pray that I'll get into my top choices, but if not, I'll be satisfied with my options. Or at least I'll try to be thankful with the choices God gives me. Speaking of, I'm so sad I couldn't go to summer retreat. The only time I'm actually around to go, I can't. Aiya.

So my trip is in a few days and I've found myself to be set with a packed schedule. It sucksss, no time to see friends before I leave but oh wells. Tomorrow I'm going to have lunch and catch up with Est & Deli. ♥ My two favorite people from club. Finally we're hanging out for the first time in summer! On Wednesday, I have school & practice, then work at 4-7. On Thursday, same schedule as Wednesday. Erica & Jean might accompany me to school and run 12 laps with me. Ha, finals suckssss. Then Erica and I are possibly having a sleep over before I leave & having a party of our own, YUM. Friday is my last day of work, and my flight is at MIDNIGHT. I'm excited for my trip. I'm honestly going to miss L.A. Everything about it; from it's dirty air, to the downright dirty streets. But, I need time away from this sinner's city of angels. Ironic much? I think not. harhar.

I think through my experiences, I realize so many things. It's like I have an epiphany every single day, yet I don't notice it 'till later on. So I guess technically, I don't have epiphanies 'till then..But you get what I'm trying to say right? If not, whatever. Ha. I want to be the kind of girl who can express her feelings clearly through her words. I wish I was musically or artistically talented so that when I'm having moments like this, I can just spill my emotions into drawings or lyrics. But sadly, I can't because I am not that talented in anything I do. For me, I don't think it's the talent that drives me to do the things I do. It's the passion that I have deep, down in my heart. The passion no one sees but me. Compliments help me strive for the top, discouragement & criticism only makes me stronger. Strong-willed, shall I say? nah. I think I like to be labeled as the person who can't do anything well because that just makes me want to be bigger & better than ever.
I strive for success.

I've been hearing stories, but here's my wake up call to you: I don't care. You've brought me enough heartbreak and pain that now my heart is numb and immune to the bullshit you put me through. It's like whenever someone new comes around, I already have my walls built up. Because of you, I'm more closed up than ever. I don't know why I thought of you out of no where. Maybe because from all the people I've met, you've made the biggest positive & negative impact in my life. They say the good times override the bad, but too bad for us, all we have are bad times. I admit, there were a few good times. But who knows, with you, all of your smiles and laughs could've been lies too. I'm not surprised that you are where you are right now since it's exactly what everyone predicts. I see you're still living that same old bullshit cycle of yours. Now that you're out of my life, I hope that cycle of yours runs in peace for once. I've done my wrong doings on my part, but fyl for all the useless tears you brought to my eyes. You're not worth it, and you never were. But thank you so very much, for making me into the strong person that I am today.

It's 1 AM. OH NO!

Happy 17th birthday Jonathan Gogi Ahn & Alyssa Magpantay! & Belated to Kevin Dante Jin Choi! Love you guys.

Let the summer nights(good times) roll.

A Person Who...

1. Understands me; not the the fullest extent, but to the point where they will know just the right way to make me feel better.
2. Knows how to burst giggles and make me laugh.
3. Accepts the fact that I don't come from a perfect family, nor grew up in a perfect lifestyle, but still try my utmost to make the best out of this thing called life.
   
4. Shares secrets equally as I do mine.
5. After a misunderstanding, will laugh about it with me at the end of the day.
6. I can share my life story with, knowing they won't judge me or turn their back.
7. Criticize me when necessary.
8. Won't give me false hope.
   
9. Bares with me at my worst and loves me at my best.
10. I can proudly call my best friend.

I've come a long way, I think; depending on the wrong people and ignoring the right. They say you shouldn't search, because if you wait, it'll come to you. But what if you're waiting but it never shows up? Are you supposed to just sit around and waste your life waiting? Maybe it's just me, because I'm impatient. I need a break. Goodnight.

"Smile

"because it's the best remedy,
after listening to sick beats with musical melodies.
Tell 'em, better yet show 'em that you're strong
No more backing out because the old you is long gone.

Momma's always judgin', maybe she doesn't know
That it's a hard to be a teen, and life? It's too slow.
Tryin' to make the best of it, it ain't an easy thing
But I made me a devotion, my faith's the promise ring.

My daddy always tells me, "Baby, now don't give up."
No use for explanations, maybe it's just tough luck.
I'm gonna get myself somewhere, I stick by these words.
Just for the time being, my vision is a big, cloudy blur."
- Anonymous.

........Writer's block? Cos that's the furthest they've got so far.
-------------

One more week of dreadful summer school left. I can't believe I survived it. YIPPPEE! Off to Korea about a week. I'm prepared to make the best of my trip this year.

There's so many inspirations left and right, but I feel like I'm stuck in this box and can't get out. I'm trapped within these walls, restraining me from spitting all the words jumbled up in my head. On a brighter note, though, I finished my first prompt for the UC application essays. Here's a snippet: "Throughout my life, my grandparents have played many different roles. They were the parents who showed me right from wrong, the grandparents who would cheer me up after a lecture from ‘mom and dad’, the friends I learned to love so much more, and most importantly, the inspiration that give me that extra push to strive for success." What I would be without my grandparents, seriously. Well, that's it for tonight. I'm secretly fucking boiling inside, but I will control my frustration. :) Toodles!

Little Things Matter Too.

Today I went to the doctor and got my physical. My doctor must be really lazy because she just checked everything like there was nothing to look at. What if I had a secret limb injury that she didn't care to look at? Just kidding, not really. I am a healthy little muffin I tell you, I am. I did that iron-checking thing and it hurt for a split second. A flashback from the blooddrive popped into mind. I can't wait for next year's blood drive. Woopee!

Anyway, I'm listening to Philip Byun's songs. The kind of music I like to listen to. They have the right kind of melody and soothing-ness. If that makes any sense whatsoever. Whatever, nobody will understand me.

So recently I've been noticing all these small details about me. Some noticed by others, and some that no one knew about, even myself. So this blog will be just a little help to get to know me a little better. :)

- I'm always chewing/biting on something. (i.e., 1. I'm usually nibbling on my lips, hence the ripped and constantly chapped lips. | 2. Gum. I picked up the gum habit from Soo. The girl's chewing it 24/7, literally. | 3. If I'm out eating or something, I'll chew on my spoon, straw, fork, chopsticks, etc. | 4. At school, I'll nibble on the top of my pens or pencils. It's a super bad habit. It's gross, I know. Don't let me borrow your pens/pencils! | 5. I bite my nails from time to time, but it's very rare. )
- I can fall asleep within a minute, no joke. I can't believe it sometimes. If you're a usual person I text at night, you might know.
- I ALWAYS sleep on my left side. Resulting in swollen cartilage, ugh.
- I change the subject A LOT. Okay, maybe that's not a little detail because it's pretty noticeable. But sometimes people don't notice that I go from topic to topic, it's weird.
- I look like I eat a lot, but honestly I don't. I eat a lot of small amounts. So basically, I have like 10 small meals instead of 3 big ones a day.
- I have a milldddd studdering problem, so annoying.

I'm getting food coma. So I'm going to do this later. TATA!