Happy Thanksgiving!

I remember the blog I posted when it was Thanksgiving last year. Harhar. Maybe I'll read it later on today or something. Already a year? Time goes by way too fast.

I saw this on facebook and thought it was super super super cute, so I shall share it with you.

I want to be the smile, the first thought, the long drive, the short walk, the last voice, the random call, the laugh, the perfect kiss, the comfort hug, your second half, the sparkle in your eye, the everything you need, just what you want.. I want to be yours.

I'm not a sucker for cheesy/romantic things but I thought it was cute. hehe.

Anyyyyway, it being Thanksgiving and all, I thought I'd blog just for the heck of it. I have so much I want to give God thanks for. He's blessed me with countless things that I haven't appreciated.

And also, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm going to be in a good mood and whatever you do or say isn't going to make me mad/frustrated. But just so you know, you might do things like that because you're trying to amuse yourself. I'll say this much, you do something to piss me off again, consider yourself erased from my life. I don't care about the things we've said in the past anymore. Follow after your own phrases and move on. HAA. Stop stooping yourself so low.

At this point, I don't care what anyone has to say because nothing can replace this feeling that I'm feeling.

Save. Our. Souls.

I have been lagging on the church-going. Please forgive me, God. I'm so caught up with my own life that I've been keeping God in the corner..with college apps, and all that other senior shananigan. I swear to myself I will get myself back on track. On a brighter note, I have been more active with doing my college applications, so that's good I suppose.

I figured people are their own person(s). So I am no one to judge or point fingers on what decisions a person makes but my own. If it's not my life, why should I bother? Clearly, they know what they're doing so there's no reason why I should be trying to make things right, right? But REALLY REALLY, please get your priorities straight. I know I'm not the one to speak, since I have a lot to work on myself, but whoa buddy. You've got to stop letting your mouth do everything 'cause that only shows people you can't man up to your words. You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? You might have the looks, but you sure as hell don't have the personality. Thank you for helping me point out assholes like you in the world who only take people for granted. You don't know what you have until it's gone? No, until you realize you never had, nor will ever have it. I hope you soon come to an understanding that you deserve so much better than that and you'll eventually move on. 'Cause I know you can.

Regrets aren't a part of me. I make mistakes, you make mistakes, get over it. I did things I wish I could take back but there's really nothing I can do about it now, is there? Think before you speak, please, at least for your own benefit. All I can say now is, live life to the fullest and do what makes you happy. There will be times when you feel like something hasn't satisfied you 100% but that's not something that should be holding you back from getting you to where you're going. Push for your goal, aim for the top, and reach for the highest.

"Nothing lasts forever. So live it up, drink it down. Laugh it off, avoid the bullshit, take chances, and never have regrets because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted."

I'm sorry we're not friends anymore and I'm sorry I can't stand it even when it's a simple 'Hello, how are you doing?' But I hope you'd think about the things that have happened between us which cause me to act the way I do towards you. It's not like I don't want us to be friends, but it's the things that occurred in the past. I'm always gonna have that scar you left and nothing you say can heal it. If anyone, you know me almost better than I know myself..and you know I'm not the type to keep grudges but like you told me a long time ago, there's a reason why people are in your life. The people that aren't there now didn't matter enough to make it to your future. I'm sorry things had to end the way they did but I'm not there anymore. I wish I was strong enough to stick by you 'till the end, like we said we would. But I'm tired of being your door mat, someone that you come running to when things don't go the way you plan with that person. You try to explain yourself but it's always the same cycle with you, and now, I'm immune to your lies.

It's almost 12. Church in the AM. Goodnight.

O.

So today, my blood donation card came from the UCLA hospital place. It turns out that I've been fooled all the four years of my high school life because people made me believe that I was a B blood type...But it says on my card that I'm an O positive. I guess I am a daddy's girl, hahaha. I'm going to call my daddy tonight. Weehee! I have 2 tests to study for so tata for now!

Yesterday.

_Leona Lewis.

Hihi, so in the past week I haven't updated, I feel like so much has happened. Well not literally but like emotionally and mentally for me. Anyway, spirit week was fun. I got to ride a firetruck and experience my first, legit football game. We won our homecoming game against Palisades 55-7! That was awesome. The homecoming dance wasn't as great as I expected it to be but it wasn't that bad either. We had a special guest performance by California Swag District and that was cool. Couldn't make it to the after party but that's alright. Things are getting slowly getting better with the gparents and I'm feeling alright.

I'm slowly slipping away from my family, my friends..this thing called my life. And I'm sure it's my fault all this is happening to me. I need to set my priorities straight and stop getting off track. Fucking pissing me off, man.

I'd like to note that some people should really see past the bullshit they're putting up with. Because sometimes, you're blinded by the things you want and you don't realize what you need and forget about what you deserve.

I thought I made myself pretty clear but I guess not.

I don't know if it's something I should go through with. What would you think of me? But then again, why should I care about what other people think of me? At the same time, I could lose my friends. The ultimate question is, will it be worth it? MEH. I think I'm a bad friend and a horrible person, please agree with me. :/ Does it mean something if I'm not able to tell certain people about certain things but there are certain people I can just share these certain things with no problem? I'm the worst person in the world, omfg.

I'm kinda excited for Thanksgiving. Hopefully, the family will get together this year and spend the day together.

I should do my homework. Goodnight!

xoxo.

-------------------------
Fuck this shit. I'm tired of people always saying it's my fault. Okay, it's my fault. I don't need to hear it over and over again, consecutively. Maybe I feel bad as it already is. It's really not that necessary. I don't need you to constantly remind me that I'm the dumb one who fucks everything up. Why are you friends with a person who's always screwing up? Hm? Every asked yourself that question? I bet not. So if you're real, then prove it and I'll love you for it. If not, why are you still in my life?

Hello Winter.

So winter is just around the corner, and you can just feel the breeze kicking in. Mornings are cooler and around 5, the wind starts to blow. I love winter. Anyway, I took my, hopefully last, SAT Reasoning today and I guess it wasn't as bad as I expected. But that's what I said last time. So I guess all I can do is just wait for the results to come out and then I can decide. The essay question was pretty interesting. At first, I had no idea what to write about; my mind went completely BLANK. But then I just sat and thought about the topic for a while and I started writing away. The essay got really personal and yeah all that good stuff. I just hope I score higher than I did the last time I took it, lmao.

Hm.. School is going by so quickly. It's already homecoming in less than a week. I'm excited to dress up for spirit week and for the homecoming game, yippeee!

It's TOM; So I'm sure there's going to be a day where I just feel super emotional and I'm going to have a rush of major jiral flow in me. Until then.

xoxo.

Haven't Met You Yet.

A song by Michael Buble; it's a super cute/catchy song. I recommend!

Happy November! SATs (-_-), spirit week, homecoming, and Thanksgiving is getting closer and closer.

Anyway, I felt like blogging again. Just because my mind is jumbled up and I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm so confused with everything I have no idea what's going on in my life.

Please show me the way. Please give me strength to pull through. Please please please don't make this harder than it already is. Life's not fair but that's just the way it is. Yup. Nothing more, nothing less.

How can something so wrong, feel so right?
I think every person will have a different opinion/perspective on what this question is asking. No specific point to it, what does it mean to you?

Church early in the morning, after like not going for a month. Oh jeesh. Yay for one more hour of sleep! G'night.


xoxo.