Left to Right.

I find it funny when you think you know something for certain, but then life hits you and you're like, "Woah. I didn't see that coming." And then everything turns out to be just something completely different than the way you expected it to be. You know what I'm sayin? I don't get why I always think I know what's going on but in the end of it all, I'm the clueless one.

I also don't understand why sometimes I feel so neglected by others, maybe it's just the type of person I am. I wish I was more effing outgoing. It makes me think that this holds me back from so much. But that's just who I am and what can I do about it yanno?

I want to get out of this stupid city. It brings back memories I don't want to remember and it makes me think about the times that I don't want to think about.

Everywhere I go, there's something that reminds me of you and it drives me crazy. Not in that reminisce good memory-type shit but the thought that makes me hate you more and more. Hate is a strong word so I'll use 'dislike' but I feel as if dislike doesn't explain half the things I feel towards you. The day you left, I felt like a part of me was gone. You keep telling me that it wasn't you that left, that it's me who won't let you back in. But why would I have to let you in if you never left? Do you get it?

I don't like that I'm living the same old lifestyle. Trying to start a journey with God is harder than I expected it to be. I've always been told that life as a Christian doesn't mean that it's going to be easy. There will be obstacles and times where you'll want to scream and shout. But that is not even a sacrifice if you compare it to what God has done for us. I want to get my life back on track.

Love all, trust a few.

Working on pieces. We'll see how they turn out.

Please forgive me and I'll change for the better,
Cause I know I won't stay the same forever.
And I write this letter to you so when I look back,
I'll get myself back on the right track.
_JoeHyon!

It'd be a lie if I said I didn't miss you. But I'm trying to keep you in the corner of my mind. I don't want to think about you, I don't want to end up the way I was; vulnerable and weak. That's the life I'm not looking forward to getting back. Thanks for the memories, though.

Birthday shout outs Brian Kim, Andrew Suh, Bianca Dizon, and Stumpy Kim!

"Peace, Love, and Lol."

♥


xoxo, Sandiepantie.