Can I Be Your Memory?

I'm thinking about running for leadership. But my only problem is, I don't know what position I want to run for yet. Most likely Senior class secretary. Oh, another problem is, I hate making speeches. :( Oh well.

Anywho, recently, the quote "trust no one" has been running through my mind a lot. Although, I find myself falling into the same trap over and over again, I still tell myself, I only have myslf to depend on. It's like sometimes, I'm part of a bigger circle than my own, but then other times, I'm all alone in this world. I'm not the biggest social butterfly, but still. I'd like to tell myself that friends are real and they're the ones who will be there for you no matter what but who am I kidding, right? Through junior year, I realized a lot. If you haven't noticed already, my posts constantly start off with, "I came to an understanding..." or "I realized that..." Hence, I'm just sick and tired of bullshit.

Maybe it's just that I haven't found the right person I can share my whole life story with. Or maybe, that person was already in my life, and I let that person go. But things happen for a reason, no? God puts you through struggles, only because He knows you can overcome it. Overall, stress is a bitch. And I'm stressing over things that shouldn't even be causing a problem for me.

I hate the feeling that you make plans to do something with people and then all of a sudden, you're not part of it anymore. So then, ultimately you just think to yourself, "fuck that shit." Maybe it's just me, but I've been feeling that way a lot these days. I'm an individual. And now, the ones who I depended on most aren't even there anymore. Senior year is just around the corner and junior year is almost coming to an end. AP testing is over so I'm free! After finals, I'm done. I'm excited for my last year in high school. I hope it won't be like this year. Then that would be a real sucker.

The bell's gonna ring soon, so tata.


♥Pantie.