Sense of Insecurities.

Spring Break Plans
04/4; work.
04/5; practice.
04/6; work, paycheck!
04/7; apbio crap @ school. work.
04/8; apbio crap @ school. work.
04/9; dentist appointment.
04/10
04/11; picnic w. girls? work.
04/12; church-o.
How wonderful.

Everyone's so excited about spring break. I thought I would be one of them, but oddly, I'm not. I think everyone knows the real meaning of spring break: drink, smoke, drop, whatever. In conclusion, get fucked up. Am I right? I'm kind of tired of living the same life everyday. School, work, home, eat, shower, homework, knock out, wake up, school, etc. If it weren't for my grandparents, I'd probably be a alcoholic/pothead. I'm thankful for them. (: It's so cliche, especially for me, to say that I want to exclude myself from that life and actually devote some time to studies. Since everybody probably knows that studying and I, just don't go together. Plus, my grandparents have been poking at my insecurities lately. Constantly bagging on me about my grades and all that crap.

Volleyball is so much drama. Girls are so much drama. Why? I don't know either. I think girls live off of drama, to be honest. But people in general love drama, love to be a part of something they have nothing to do with. Back to subject, though, some girls just need to shut the fuck up and suck it up. So many complaints, so many unsatisfied faces, I get really fed up with it from time to time. Speaking of volleyball, I might quit. Not because I don't want to play, trust, I love the sport. But I hurt my shoulder and it's not getting better. Maybe I should get it checked out. I don't know. My teammates are all falling apart and it's seriously starting to piss me off. The way some of the girls treat each other is just straight up ridiculous and makes my passion for volleyball slowly slip away.

I don't know where I'm headed. I'm on a road filled with unanswered questions without a destination. For a period of time, I thought I was going the right way, but now that I come to think of it, I'm aimlessly walking in this path. And this, pokes at my insecurities even more. I feel useless. I need to pray, LOL.

Now that it's spring break, I think it'll be an easier process for me to forget you. Part of me feels like it's a good thing, but at the same time, I miss you so much! Eff my indecisive self.

Anyway, I think I'll use my time wisely and do my spring break homework.

♥Pantie.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.