I'll Be Your Toad.

I just read through my posts over the past year and whoa, have I grown a lot(mostly emotionally). I love reading through these old posts because they're like watching a video of your old self. It's a good feeling to see how you've changed in so many different ways. Sometimes you've changed for the better, and sometimes for the worse but in the end of it all, I think everyone changes for the better. I just hope these changes don't overwhelm the best of me.

I've been so busy lately, it's ridiculous. Dealing with school and work and volleyball practice is no joke. But like I've mentioned before, I like this feeling. The feeling that I don't have time for anything but focus. It's just like, "I gotta get this done, I have no time!" But lately, time's been working out really swell for me. Which I find quite surprising because I am not that great with dealing with time. I think God's giving me a little break from all this tension and hard work. Ha, syke. Not really.

A lot of things have happened in the past week. Lots of things I wish I didn't do, lots of things I'm glad happened. Just over all, a lot of things. I think I'm always getting tangled up in the wrong mess. I'm just an open invitation with a bigass sign that says, "BRING ME THE DRAMA." Seriously, no matter how I try to run and hide from controversy, it just follows me around like my tail. I'm so sick and tired of it. I just want a year of no drama and NO BULLSHIT. Is that too much to ask for? Sigh. These are the days I really do consider living with my parents. My dad makes me feel like I have nothing to worry about if I come over there. But I know for a fact, it'll cause a lot of new problems. I think the last 2 weeks in Korea thing actually sometimes helps me. It helps me get a way for a while, but not too long that I miss out on summer fun. But just enough to clear my thoughts and come back with a fresh, new character. It does me well, sometimes.

My senior pictures will be coming in the mail in a few days. I'm anxious for them. I'm afraid that they might not look the certain way I want it to look or I look like this in a certain pose, or all that other crap.

Anyway, enough of this nonsense. I'm going to go to sleep soon. BYE!